We all want
our children to make their mark on the world in a positive way. And we hope for
the best as they grow up. Once they are out on their own, we hold our breath
that they will find their way. Sometimes they do, and sometimes they don’t. And you pray that any problems encountered
will be quickly resolved so that there are no lifelong repercussions. Unfortunately, sometimes what you wish for, doesn’t come true. Our forty year old daughter is
back home again. She is broke. Quit her last job. Accommodations at our house are
modest, to say the least. A sofa bed in a bedroom stacked high with boxes (that
ought to be tucked away in a storage area). Her father and I can’t move them
because of our own health issues. She says that is fine. She just needs a place
to crash and regroup. She is a microbiologist by trade and just can’t seem to
put down roots anywhere she goes. The reason why is she spends every dime she
makes and never has a backup plan. She has a million complaints about every job
she gets. Then, lets health issues get the better of her, always using them as
her way out of what she perceives a bad situation, or an excuse to avoid doing
something. So our place, here… has become like a revolving door for her. At our
ages, (my husband is going to be 76) and with our limited income, here is not a
good option, anymore. We now live on Social Security and
the income from a part-time job my hubby has. We do not have unlimited
funds to help her. But she doesn’t see it that way. In her mind, The Bank of
Mom and Dad is always open for business, whatever our age or circumstances. Selfish, right? It has been anything but pleasant
since she arrived. She is prone to emotional outbursts that make us shake in
our boots, literally. And we have about reached our wits end with her shenanigans. Rather
than trying to find a temporary job so she can start saving some money, she
spends all day sleeping or watching TV. She tells us her health problems are
keeping her from moving forward. My husband is none too pleased about this turn
of events. He has COPD and heart problems, himself... and does not need all this
stress. The bottom line is… family is family. You help them when they’re down,
no matter the sacrifice. But… he’s right when he says, we’ve gone above and
beyond, the call of duty… in that regard for her. Over the years, we have
bankrolled her stints in Arizona, Washington, Alaska and Missouri. Years ago, we also
paid off her car that was about to be repossessed. Now she has a new one in the
same situation. She owes everyone, everywhere, money. She has not been fiscally
responsible. We didn’t raise her to be this way. It is breaking our heart she
just can’t get her act together. To survive… she says she needs a phone, a car, gas,
plus moving and living expenses if she gets a new job out of state . Claims she
has one lined up in Alabama.
My hubby threatened to have her committed if she didn’t get her head back on
her shoulders and start being realistic. WHERE is the money coming from to do
this Alabama gig, he asks her? She throws a hissy fit telling him it just will have to
materialize. (Fully expecting us to step in and save the day at the last
minute.) Why can’t she see, that we can’t foot the bill for all this stuff, at
this time in our lives. I’m caught in a
tug of war between her and my husband on a daily basis. I thought the NEW YEAR held
promise for us all... but now all I see are setbacks. We have laid down the law
to her… get a local job, not the one in Alabama, start saving some money, then
go where you like, on your dime. But it’s falling on deaf ears. So what do we do?
Do we kick her out on the street if she doesn’t get her butt in gear or
continue to endure her wrath when she does not lift a finger to help herself? What
would you do?
