Saturday, May 22, 2010
OPEN OR CLOSED
As a young child my bedroom door was always shut tight. I could make a tent out of my sheets, hide inside and read books by flashlight, after dark. I could play dress-up with the clothes in my dresser. I could dance or lip-sync to the music blaring from my blue and white record player. I could watch the orioles and robins gather outside, my window. After I had gone to bed for the night… if I heard my parents talking… I could scramble out of bed, tiptoe across the cold hardwood floor and put my ear up against the great big door. Like a giant amplifier, the door seemed to echo their muffled conversations, so I could catch a word or two. When I got bored listening, I’d head back to bed, to sleep. The room was my sanctuary, comfy and cozy. But the reason why, was the door… it sealed me off from the outside world and allowed me to discover another one, where I ruled supreme. It stayed that way until I became an adult. Flash forward to the future. Things have changed. All grown up… I now sleep with the bedroom door wide OPEN. Keeping the door open allows me to breathe easier at night. Shutting it makes me feel claustrophobic. I don't know why? Maybe because it acts as a barrier. Or because it's so soundproof, you can't hear anything, outside the room. Curious how my perception has changed about that. Don't get me wrong... I love my bedroom... but I just don’t want to be locked away from the rest of my house. As I've aged, the house as a whole, has become my new sanctuary, not just one room. Several years ago… following an operation on my knees, I was forced to keep the bedroom door shut, so my cats would not bother me in bed, as I recovered. It was heart wrenching for them and me. UPSET by the IMMOVABLE object in their way, they scratched at the door, tore up the hall carpet and cried all night… making me feel worse than the pain from my surgery, or the knot in the pit of my stomach, from the room closing in on me. We got through it, but it was tough. I don’t want a repeat of that happening, no matter what shape I’m in. I appreciate the fact that some doors must be closed for security or privacy. But as long as it’s just the hubby, the cats and I… this is an open and shut case. The bedroom door remains open. How about you… do you sleep with your bedroom doors open or closed?