Monday, January 4, 2021

Visits and Photographs of Home

 


This was the first time, in the past 40 years, that I haven’t seen my mom’s house decorated for the holidays. In the past we would visit and take photos or if we couldn’t be there… my dad would do the honors, taking pictures of everything to satisfy my need to visually see home. When my dad passed almost two years ago, my brother was the one who inherited the task of taking the photos, usually because we were nursing health problems far away. With Covid now running rampant, my brother couldn’t make the trip from California to the East Coast because his family was in lockdown mode. A sad but necessary precaution. My hubby and I were in the same boat, so that meant my 87 year old mom celebrated alone. That made us all sad. Throughout her married life my dad was the photographer, videographer, cell phone, and computer whiz. He was in the television biz and had a knack for it. My mom never picked up a camera, cell phone, or turned on a computer. Without my dad there to connect with our families in that way, she is lost, and there is a BIG void in all our lives. We have tried to convince her to get a smart phone, but she’s convinced she wouldn’t understand it, with none of us there to teach her and, refuses to spend the money. Therefore, she is adamant she doesn’t want technology to be part of her life. As a result, my dad  is sorely missed. There is so much she isn’t privy too without those elements helping us keep in touch.  We miss her so much  and are saddened  because we can’t see her sweet face, up close and personal, online or even with a cell-phone selfie. We want to be able to send pictures of us, or bitmojis, to her with just a click of our fingers, instead of relying on USPS, which isn’t getting the job done delivering mail. But it’s not meant to be.  She just isn’t open to this modern communication. With the virus hot spots, springing up everywhere... I’m not sure when we’ll be able to go home and visit. And like millions of others around the country, it’s tough. We take comfort in the fact she has friends that check in to see how she’s doing.  And, my brother and I, call everyday on her landline. And her grandchildren do the same on the weekends. I’m praying these vaccines make a difference, so we can travel again without fear of getting ill in the coming year. Both my hubby and  I are severely compromised health-wise, so we can’t afford to take chances.  My nana and grandpa survived the 1918 pandemic. And both our daughters have survived Covid-19 but not without side effects that have altered their lives.  We are saying our prayers, we get to visit my mom, sooner rather than later.  Life is short. You never know how much time 
you have to say hello or goodbye. 


9 comments:

Donna. W said...

My sister is 92 years old, and it bugs me that it isn't safe to go visit her. She's healthy, but nobody lives forever. I hope we get to a point where it's safe to visit her.

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

Hopefully this year will improve and you'll get to visit again. We all have high hopes for the vaccine. What a cozy room you have pictured. Nicely done for Christmas. I'm like you and would like to travel. I haw 1 sons who live out of state and would love to see them. We're hoping for a Christmas in July this year. We'll see what happens.

jack69 said...

Yours is a sad story. It seems to be repeated thruout the country this year. Yes very few of us OLD folk get close to the new technology. When we do we actually need a Grandchild to help us. Just this summer my 'whiz' grandson had to set my watch for me.
Yep your dad was a prize to handle the technology, too bad passing the knowledge is not simple, AND IT IS NOT! It is tough for a senior to suddenly pick up this techy stuff and run with it.
We feel for you and hope this coming year will be much better, mama needs those visits also. AND hopefully health on your end of the communications will be better too.
Praying and hoping the best for the situation,
Sherry & jack in a warming Florida

Mevely317 said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your mother's circumstances! Not the first year, my dad passed -- but I think it was the second when she declared she wouldn't be putting up a tree or decorating. I was appalled ... and more than a little saddened. But you know, she'd made peace with that decision. I pray that's the case for yours, as well. Blessedly, she knows she's loved.

Practical Parsimony said...

There is a computer that is a very small screen made especially for seniors. I think it has email and a picture function. Do not tell her it is a computer. Call it a picture sender or sharer. That way she will be able to turn it on and simply see what you want to share. Maybe if it is not called a computer, she will be more amenable to using it. They are small and cheap. She has a bad case of learned helplessness, which at her age is not a bad thing.

They market this machine as ready to use right out of the box.

Practical Parsimony said...

GrandPad

I read about it on TechHive. But, could not copy.

Beatrice P. Boyd said...

What you have posted here about your mother is indeed disheartening and unfortunately not an isolated situation. There are so many older people living alone or in nursing homes with family and friends unable to visit and with no means of connecting with those outside. My late mother would have been in the same situation with us unable to visit, but like you and other family we connected by calls and other means. I hope that 2021 will bring some relief to many in the form of a vaccine and eventual un-lockdowns.

TARYTERRE said...

Thank you all for the uplifting comments. And also for the information about the GrandPad. Unfortunately while it looks and sounds great. It is too costly for us to try.

Red Rose Alley said...

Taryterre, I know you want to visit with your mom on-line somehow, but she doesn't want to have anything to do with technology. Your post hit home for me because I understand her completely. My daughters get frustrated with me because I want no part of it either. Other than my little blog and e-mail, I don't have anything else, and I don't want it. I'm so glad to have friends like you to visit, but it's just a whole new world that some of us aren't familiar with and don't want to learn. I admire you for knowing so much about it. Maybe you could write her a letter just to let her know you're thinking about her. I think she'd love that. I know it's hard for you and the family to not see your Mom, but it's something that she wants and it's important to her. I don't know how many times I'm argued this subject with my own daughters and brothers and sister. They don't understand why I'm not with it with all the technology, but it seems if something is very important to us, we'll learn or find out about it. But if not, we'll go without. Sometimes that's easier than the hassle of it all. And that's why I admire you so much - you learn it all!

~Sheri